We help people understand your business quickly—and like what they see. Our work is measured in real actions: sign-ups, demos, and steady returns. If you want fewer buzzwords and more progress, you’re in the right place.
Why we exist
Too many good products hide behind unclear words and busy pages. We fix that. We make your message simple, your look steady, and your pages easy to trust—so the right people say “yes” without needing a long explanation.
Who we are
Gotcha Brands is a small, senior team built for speed and clarity. No handoffs for the sake of it. No endless decks. You work directly with the person doing the work.
Ian Hayden Parker — Owner & Lead Branding Agent
I work directly with founders and product teams. We cut through the noise, find simple words that fit, and build pages that feel honest and easy to use. I’m hands-on: I’ll write your headline, sit with your product, and make sure the main action on your page is obvious and worth clicking.
What I bring: clear writing, calm design, and a habit of shipping. What you get: a brand people understand in seconds and a site that quietly does its job.
What it’s like to work with us
Short calls. Fast drafts. Real examples. You’ll see something useful every week. We explain choices in plain language—what changed, why it matters, and how we’ll measure it. If something isn’t working, we say so and fix it.
We’re friendly but direct. We prefer small, steady wins over big reveals that miss.
What we believe
Clarity beats clever. If a stranger can repeat your promise after ten seconds, we’re on the right track.
Consistency builds trust. Same words, same look, everywhere. People relax when things match.
Proof over hype. A simple example, a real screen, or a small number beats a paragraph of adjectives.
Respect attention. Clean pages, short sections, one clear next step.
Accessible by default. Readable text, obvious buttons, real alt text. If more people can use your site, more people will.
What we deliver
Clear words, a simple, steady look, and pages that help people take the next step. You can explore our work style in How We Work or browse the options on Services.
Where we fit best
Early-stage teams who need a clear message and a credible page—fast. Growing teams with a good product and messy presentation. Practical people who value honesty over theater.
A typical first week
Day 1–2: Short kickoff, quick product walk-through, goals on paper.
Day 3: Draft of your one-line intro and three key points—plain language, no fluff.
Day 4: First pass at the hero section and main button label.
Day 5: A simple plan for the next two weeks: what we’ll ship and how we’ll measure it.
If you need speed end-to-end, start with the three-week Capture Sprint.
What we don’t do
We don’t drown you in jargon, chase trends for likes, or sell you a giant brand book you’ll never open. We don’t promise what your product can’t deliver. If you need heavy custom software or a year-long rebrand, we’ll point you to the right partner.
Results, in plain terms
After we work together, people understand you faster. More of the right visitors click the main button. Your team writes and designs faster because the decisions are made. Your site looks and feels like one company.
How we handle disagreement
We test. Two headlines go in, one headline comes out. We ask a few people who don’t know you to read for ten seconds and tell us what you do. The clearest version wins. No ego, just outcomes.
Our promise
We will be straight with you, ship on a steady beat, and leave you with words and pages you can use tomorrow—not just slides. If we’re not the best fit for your problem, we’ll say so and recommend someone who is.
A note from Ian
Most teams are closer than they think. You don’t need perfect. You need clear. Give me one week and I’ll help you say what you do in one honest line—and build from there.
Ready to talk?
Tell us what you want to make happen in the next 90 days. If we’re a fit, we’ll map a simple plan. If not, you’ll still leave with useful next steps. Start a project.